Skip to main content

Lessons from Yosemite

The image to the left is a picture of two trees in the Mariposa Grove of Yosemite National Park. They are called the 'Faithful Couple.' They stand over two hundred feet tall and are several centuries old. You can see that the base looks like one tree but at the top the two distinct trees are visible. Under the surface of the trees the root systems are intertwined and offer mutual support to both trees.

The sequoia forest was the favorite part of the trip for my daughters last summer. They were impressed with the majesty of the trees. We kept telling them that they were going to get to see some really big trees, but nothing could describe their awe as we explored the forest of these giants.

The sequoia trees we saw on that trip were so old, that many were likely seedlings when Jesus walked on this earth and because they grow so slowly, many looked the same today as they looked when some of the first Western settlers in California discovered the forest. We were also impressed with their resiliency. Though not in this photograph, the base of the 'Faithful Couple' trees are scarred by fire. Many of the trees in this forest have been through numerous fires, but they remain stable and viable.

Our experience with the trees touched something deep within us about life and changes. Lasting, stable changes in our relationships are usually slow to emerge and frequently result in something more wonderful than before. One of God's greatest lessons that he teaches us through creation is that most beautiful things are outcomes of considerable time, struggle, and maybe pain.

Look at the butterfly. Canyons and valleys are shaped slowly. Seasons change through days and weeks, not with the flip of a switch. Consider the stories of lives shared in God's ancient scriptures. Moses spent 40 years in a desert before leading the Exodus. Joseph spent decades as a servant and prisoner before taking charge of Egypt. Prophets lived a lifetime preaching about a Savior they would never meet.

We live in a microwave culture. "I want it now." We want instant success in business, our relationships and even our parenting. Though I think there are positive and even necessary changes that happen quickly, these are clearly the exception to a rule that is evident all over God's creation. In the forest of sequoias it was painfully evident how futile it would be to wish for speed. Among the sequoias time slowed down and there was a peace and tranquility that was both necessary and comforting. I must confess that as a parent there are things about my children that I want to change today and usually my efforts to make those changes fall miserably short. The lesson from the sequoias is that maybe the change we want needs some time and a willingness to enjoy the beauty of the process.

Spend some time reflecting about your marriage and your children. Be thankful for the growth and change you have seen. Be patient for the changes you hope for. And in the present enjoy the beauty that is with you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sacred Spaces

This is a poem composed by Dr. Mark DeYoung. All the spaces, whether filled with joy or pain in families are sacred. Families exist in all kinds of places and spaces The space between birth and death The space between a marriage and a divorce. Grief and rejoicing Attention and neglect A father's hand that can be protective and possibly violent A mother's voice that can be comforting and possibly rejecting  The space between failure and success The space between togetherness and lonliness  Siblings who can be best of friends and worst enemies Homes that can be filled with rage and laughter The space between substance abuse and sobriety Encouragement and criticism Safety and injury Being chosen and being ignored Wounds and healing The distance between these dichotomies is made sacred For it is in these spaces families express and experience, Life, Comfort, Mercy, Forgiveness, Grace, Reconciliation, Hope, and Love.

Attachment and Wild Things

As a young child I remember reading "Where the Wild Things Are" and I don't feel like I related to Max. I was a pretty easy going, compliant kid and can't remember being sent to my room without my supper. Now as a father and family therapist I have come to see that Maurice Sendak had an amazing insight into the world of children and their experiences. Max is a young boy in the developmental middle of great emotional growth and his defiance and tantrums one night lead him to episode after episode of chaos. Most parents of young children can relate to witnessing similar episodes, and we know that a young child's immature emotional brains can easily become overwhelmed, resulting in impulsivity, defiance, and tantrums. Max's final explosion towards his mother results in being sent to his room and his adventure with the Wild Things. His time with the Wild Things serves as a metaphor for every child's attempts to tame the monstrous and overwhelming feelings t

Authority Problems

We have an authority problem. Recent news overwhelms with incidents of blatant disrespect for authority figures. Here are a few samples. Tom Brady appeals his suspension for cheating and wins reprieve from a four game suspension. Our culture’s worship of sports heroes has sunk to a new low when blatant cheating is disregarded and a Superbowl champion is allowed to get away without penalty. I think Pete Rose is probably pretty upset. Two high school football athletes, apparently angry over a call made by a referee assaults the referee during the game. The extent to which adults were involved is still unclear. Four police officers are violently gunned down in assassination attacks in the past few weeks for no reason other than wearing the uniform. A fourteen year old student brings an engineering project to school that looks suspiciously dangerous and refuses to put it away when asked by two teachers. Authorities' response to his choices are labeled as racism and