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Spanking

There was a recent SMU study by George W. Holden. The website is: http://blog.smu.edu/research/2011/06/spanking_discipline_or_assault.html

The research was originally intended to focus on parents yelling at children in their daily interactions. Mothers agreed to have audio recordings made of their evening activities with their children. The researchers analyzed the recordings and reported frequent incidents of corporal punishment that were concurrent with yelling and high levels of frustration from the mother. The majority of spankings appeared to be "knee-jerk" reactionary responses when parents were frustrated rather than thought out consequences for a previous behavior. There are really no reported examples of parents explaining to their child why they were getting a spanking before or after the swat(s). One parent is recorded spanking the child in response to being kicked by the child. This tit-for-tat, "let's see who is bigger and stronger" type of response is unfortunately more common than it needs to be in parenting.

The research is informative. Spanking as a form of corporal punishment is very accepted in our culture and is particularly promoted within conservative Christian groups as a higher form of consequence or punishment, ordained by scripture (spare the rod...spoil the child). Unfortunately spanking becomes a default consequence for misbehavior and threats of spanking in anger are followed by swats in anger that are not supported by any disciplinary teaching from parent to child. Children in these family environments become effective at avoiding getting caught or lying to get out of trouble. The important decision making skills necessary for healthy development are not taught.

I support parents who utilize corporal punishment, but not as a default disciplinary technique and never in anger. I think parents must also carefully consider the unique characteristics of their child when making disciplinary decisions. What works for one child may not work for another. This research should remind us all as parents that spanking children has a unique place in parenting and does not need to be our "knee-jerk" response to misbehavior.

Parents should first consider all misbehavior as an opportunity to teach about self-control and relationships. Consequences and teaching around poor choices should be our first concern as parents. Stimulus-response parenting (which the research illustrates) is reactionary and focused on punishment. Relational parenting has consequences for misbehavior but is primarily focused on teaching skills for self-control and relationships first.
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