I would like to suggest an experiment. Choose a day in the next week and just simply observe and listen to your child. During the whole day, just listen to them. Don’t use too much energy directing or disciplining, teaching or correcting. Rather listen for your child’s feelings, concerns, and desires. Haim Ginott in the classic parenting book, Between Parent and Child , said, “When a child tells of, or asks about, an event, it is frequently best to respond not to the event, but to the relationship implied…Behind many childhood questions is the desire for reassurance. The best answer for such questions is the assurance of our abiding relationship.” Children need a sense of security and a great building block for establishing that security is feeling understood. As a parent you increase your ability to understand your child by taking time to listen to them. Our listening needs to be tuned into hearing the feelings behind the child’s words. Many times we respond to a child without really

My hard drive crashed. Actually it was my back-up hard drive. On my desk sits a computer hard drive that just three weeks ago served as a backup to my system. In a flash, it failed. It was full of useful and important information and it’s all gone. Now it is just a metal paperweight.Many of us have likely experienced a computer malfunction in which important data has been lost. Data from our lives such as financial records, letters, addresses, or pictures stored as electronic bits of zeros and ones on a magnetic platter that spins at dizzying speeds. One zap and it is gone. It seems so fragile and temporary. What is really lasting and permanent? My answer to that question is that relationships and family matter most. Placing our energies into our family relationships has the potential for long term generational pay-offs. Here are some suggestions to help ensure you are not wasting your efforts on the temporary. 1. Spend time with your spouse. Have a regular date night. Write each other